Hiking in Hocking Hills

Hours before Billy experienced his stroke, not only had he purchased my anniversary present but he also had booked a weekend in our favorite cabin in Hocking Hills. However, as a result of the memory difficulties from the stroke, he had forgotten that he had done so. Fortunately, he received an email with a confirmation from the lady who owned the cabin which prompted his memory. I suppose the best way to keep a secret is to forget about it all together! I had no idea, until he told me to pack my things because we were headed to the cabin. The drive down was full of natural beauty. The sun was golden and the air had a slight fall chill to it, but overall was rather pleasant. I enjoy the drive to Hocking Hills because with it carries an air of excitement and adventure. 

We opened the door to the cabin, and I sat down in an oversized recliner directly in front of the fireplace. My "happy place" so to speak. I could sit here for hours snuggling in a blanket and reading a book by the fire. Billy stood in front of the doorway and looked around. A big smile crept on his face and tears began to well up in his eyes. "For the first time, I remember and I recognize where I'm at. At home, everything smells the same, but visually our home looks foreign. Here, it visually looks recognizable. I haven't been able to do this before." I was overjoyed with my husband's achievements and shared in the excitement he felt. I gave him a great big hug. We were making progress.

The next morning, we lazily woke up and drank coffee by the fire. At this moment I realized just how wound up with stress and tension I was. The drastic shift of everyday life weighed heavily on me. I worried about everything. I felt like I had felt before when I was a single mom;100% responsible for daily life. Solely responsible for forgotten trips to the grocery stores, overdue bills, or even teaching my child their ABCs. I was so scared that I was going to forget something and fail my husband. I tried to put on a brave face in front of Billy because he already had so much going on with his mind. I did my best to provide a calm and peaceful environment for healing in our home, while simultaniously on the inside I felt like I was going to explode. Days before, I broke down and cried because I forgot that it was trash day and our bins were overflowing while I sadly watched the truck pass our house and drive down the road. I knew then that I needed some down time away from the chaos of everyday life. I then remembered the only thing he wanted to do when he got out of the hospital was to go hiking together again. I looked over at him and asked if he wanted to go hiking today. A worried look came over his face. "What if I can't do it? What if it's too much for me?" I promised him I would be right there by his side the entire time. We could always come back if it was too much for him to handle. He could trust me to keep him safe. We began to drive down the highway and he proclaimed loudly "I can see it! I can see that sign! I hadn't been able to do that before. I recognize this drive. I can read what that sign says! This is incredible!" I knew that this trip was also good for him as well. We needed to reduce stress. Both for me and the pressure I was feeling and also for him and the pressure he felt of getting better. 

When we arrived at the trail, I put his hand on my shoulder and I promised we could walk as slow as he needed. This was about the enjoyment of taking a hike together and nothing more. As we walked, we took in the beauty of the hike. The sun felt warm on our faces, but the valleys where we hiked were chilly and required us to pull our coats a little closer around our bodies. The scenery was picturesque and full of natural adventure. I missed this time with my husband much more than I realized before this moment. We walked slow and carefully. In that moment time did not exist. We didn't have any place we needed to be except together walking side by side and hand in hand. Unfortunately, I was so engulfed in the moment, that I missed a turn on our hike and we began to walk deeper and deeper into the woods along a different path. I thought for sure we should've began to circle around to the car again. However, the trail felt longer and longer. I felt that guilt again well up inside. Here my husband trusted me enough to take him into the woods to hike and I got us lost. All of that relaxation I had began to feel was being replaced again with worry and stress. I felt the weight of responsibility weighing heavily on me. I had failed my husband. As much as I loved the beauty of the trail, I felt a sickening in my stomach. The sun would be setting soon in a matter of 2 hours, and I had to find our way back before dark. 

We kept walking and I could feel tears in my eyes. I finally had to confess to my husband, I think we are lost. He started to smile and laugh. I crossed my arms in protest, this was not funny! He laughed again and teased me. The tension broke and I began to laugh as well. The game was on; two hours until sunset. We decided to walk a little bit further to see if we could find a trail map. If not, we would just turn back around and walk back the way we came. It looked as if there was a clearing up ahead with possibly a place to stop and rest for a bit. We climbed up a small hill and circled around a large tree. When we looked up we couldn't believe our eyes. We had come out of the woods and discovered a beautiful lake! Standing there looking over our unexpected discovery I realized something. This was almost a representation of our current situation. We started out with a plan in mind, but along the way we took a different direction unexpectedly. However, we kept on going despite being a bit scared and worried. If we had given up and turned back, we would've missed the uncovering of a true visual treasure. We stood next to each other, hand in hand, and just breathed in deep the adventure of life. I wouldn't want to miss this for anything else in the world.