10/13/2020- Day 2 Brain and Spine Hospital 10 PCU

 Today, Billy worked with occupational therapy for the second time. His goals are finding his way back to his room, reading the signs to find where he is at, and to find colored post-it notes around the hallway. They even worked with him on brushing his teeth which he found to be a bit more difficult than anticipated. He enjoyed walking with me in the hallway and I enjoyed prompting him to look at and identify things and signs on the unit. He seems a bit more clear today, but also very emotional. It's hard to go from a bad ass ICU nurse with a steel trap memory to a neuro patient struggling to find a hospital room. He also had a difficult time recognizing his cellphone and how to use it. However, "hey Siri" has been wonderful and he's been able to call me by asking Siri to Face Time me. In addition, Face Timing his family has been therapeutic for him. It's allowing him to train his left field of vision in addition to seeing his family. As expected, it's been hard for him to be a patient. I watch him thinking through all of this as ICU Billy but also in complete disbelief that he's the one experiencing these changes. He told me that his greatest fear was to become a neuro patient. The irony of the situation is hard to grasp. However, he said that having me there by his side was the one thing that kept him holding on. When he was in the ED, he said that he felt like he was in a dark place/dark hole trapped inside his mind. He was scared and didn't know what was going on. At one point, he felt himself "slipping" and "falling away." Then he said that he saw me in my nurses outfit and scrub cap and I looked bright like an angel and heard my voice. That seeing me kept him from falling away. He held on to know that I was there by his side. I didn't think he could hear me and I didn't think he knew I was even there, but he did. "He" was lost inside of his mind, but he always knew who I was. 

One day at a time...


Thank you all again for the support and for following his progress. Writing has helped me process all of this as well as provide a log of his progress so that one day he can read it and see how far he's come from day 1. Love you all!



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